The Illusion of Control

Ipray4u Christian Bookstore

Guest Blog

By

Dr. Lonnie Robinson

Control is a funny thing. It makes us feel more secure when we have it. We feel insecure when we don’t have it.

There are a lot of things we attempt to control in our lives. We plan for many things, attempt to prevent bad outcomes and ensure good ones instead.

We should eat right and exercise, though I have found these to be very difficult pursuits in my life lately. I am trying to get the “comfort food” out of my diet. We should get a check up with our physician and check your cholesterol, etc. Most of what I do as a physician is to try to get my patients to buy into prevention, rather than treatment. We brush and floss our teeth regularly…well, we brush regularly and occasionally floss our teeth (sorry, Jeff). For me it’s usually just the week or two before my next dentist visit. We buy insurance…Life, Home, Car, Disability, Health, Business, and in my case, Malpractice. We plan and invest for the future. We save for our children’s education.

All of these maneuvers help us to feel as though we are in control. It’s good to plan for the contingencies that life can potentially throw at us and to be prepared, but we are occasionally confronted with situations that show us that we cannot plan for every possibility. This often leads to a feeling of insecurity, as if things are totally out of control.

I was not prepared for, nor was I in control on May 21, 2009, when Lori called me and gave me the terrible news. Similarly, I was not in control on May 12, 2008, when my brother died.

All of us would like to believe that we could have exerted some influence over the situation surrounding these tragedies. Teddy and Lori placed an inordinate amount of trust in my medical opinions, and thus I have essentially been their “family physician by phone” for some time. I certainly am glad to have been there for them on these various occasions. I received a call on my cell phone from Lori that afternoon while they were at the doctor’s office, before anything terrible had happened. She was calling from Teddy’s cell, wanting to ask my advice about what to do about his chest pain. Seeing Teddy’s number, I sent the call to voice mail, thinking it was a casual call and I would just return it later. I didn’t actually listen to the voice mail until after I got the unbelievably horrible news later when Lori called me from the ambulance, already on the way to the hospital.

I have replayed the sequence of events and wondered what difference I might have made had I taken that call. “If only…” My wife pointed out to me that not taking that call may have been a gift of grace. I have shared with many of you that if I had seen Teddy as a patient, I don’t doubt that my actions would have been similar to those of the physician he did see that afternoon. I would like to think that I could have made a difference, that I would have steered him in the direction that would have changed the outcome, but I can’t honestly say that would be true. If I had taken that call and given him the advice I believe I would have given him, how much more guilt would I be living with now?

All this brings me back to what I already knew was true: God is in control, not me…and that, my friend, is a very good thing. His plan is much better than mine, and I gladly defer to Him. I don’t know why it included Teddy’s departure, but someday we will know, and it will make perfect sense. It doesn’t mean that I have to like His plan, or that I am not grieved terribly by the loss of my friend, but I do submit that He is the better person to make the decisions than me.

If you have never seen the movie, The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe, I would highly recommend it. There is a scene where one of the children is asking about Aslan, the King of Narnia, whom they have yet to meet. In the movie (based on the C.S. Lewis book), Aslan represents Jesus Christ. The little girl asks Mr. Beaver, “Is he safe?” His response is incredible (paraphrased): “Oh no, deary, he’s not safe at all. But He is good.”

Similarly, this life is not safe, and we are not in total control of the outcomes. Our lives, our relationship with others, and ultimately, our relationship with God requires risk. Loving others always requires risk. Jesus risked it ALL when he demonstrated his love for us on the cross. It’s risky for us to commit our lives to Him, relinquishing control and admitting that we are not in control and turning it over to Him. And He is not safe, but just as the children in Narnia discovered, He is good!

So, I have good news for you if you are feeling insecure or out-of-control. He is in control, and His plan is better than yours or mine. When you give yourself completely to Him and acknowledge that your plan is no longer working, He sends His peace that passes all understanding and though you still may not like the situation, there is a bizarre sense of comfort in the midst of your uncomfortableness.

May that grace and peace be yours today, and may all of us learn to let go and let Him…

Lonnie

Unanswered Questions

Ipray4u Christian Bookstore

Guest Blog

by

Dr. Lonnie Robinson

I am reading a book titled In a PIT with a LION on a SNOWY DAY, which is written by a young pastor named Mark Batterson. It was suggested to me by a friend who has been through some trials in his life recently. It is based on a passage of scripture in 2 Samuel 23 about a man named Benaiah and how he handled adversity in a very different way than most of us would. I highly recommend it.

I would like to share a passage with you entitled “Unanswered Questions”.

Not long ago, my daughter Summer asked a question out of nowhere: “Dad, why did God create mosquitoes?” That’s a tough question. I made up some lame answer like, “Lizards eat them.” But to be perfectly honest, I’m not sure why God made mosquitoes. I don’t like them. I don’t lose sleep over it, but I think it’s one of those unanswerable questions. By the way, Summer also said, “I’ve been saving that question for God for two years.”

We all have questions we’ve been saving for God, don’t we?

And most of them aren’t as benign as “Why did God make mosquitoes?” We have malignant questions that metastasize. How could God let my spouse leave me like that? Why is my child the one in ten thousand with a rare genetic disorder? Why didn’t someone do something to stop the abuse?

Positive uncertainties produce some of the most joyful moments in life, but I don’t want to make light of the negative uncertainties. They are painful and stressful.

Maybe you’re facing the relational uncertainty of divorce. Maybe downsizing at work is causing some occupational uncertainty. Or maybe you have lots of unanswered questions that are causing some spiritual uncertainty. Someday God will answer all of our malignant questions. Someday God will explain all our painful experiences. Someday God will resolve all our spiritual paradoxes. In the meantime, I have a Deuteronomy 29:29 file filled with things I don’t understand.

There are secrets the Lord God has not revealed to us.

…One of my unanswered questions is why my father-in-law, Bob, passed away in the prime of his life. Not only did we lose a dad, but I also lost my mentor in ministry. I wouldn’t be doing what I ‘m doing if it weren’t for his influence in my life…

…In January of 1998, Bob went in for a routine physical. The doctor didn’t just give him a clean bill of health; he literally said you could drive a Mack truck through his arteries. One week later, he died of a heart attack. And I remember two distinct feelings. I remember feeling helpless. There was nothing I could do to bring him back. And I remember feeling overwhelmed. You almost go into a state of shock because you experience emotional overload. The grief is consuming. If you have lost a loved one, you know the feeling. During the funeral, I realized that I couldn’t stop sighing. I later read that sighing is one way we process grief. It is a physiological response to distress. I didn’t know how to vent or verbalize what I was feeling, so I sighed.

Give ear to my words, O Lord, and consider my sighing.

That little phrase – “consider my sighing” – became a source of strength for me. I didn’t know how to pray or what to say, but I knew God was considering my sighing. Even when we can’t put our frustration or anger or doubt or discouragement or grief into words, God hears and translates those low-frequency distress signals we call sighs.

Maybe prayer is much more than a combination of the twenty-six letters of the English alphabet into words? I love Ted Loder’s perspective in Guerrillas of Grace:

How Shall I pray?

Are tears prayers, Lord?

Are screams prayers,

or groans

or sighs

or curses?

Can trembling hands be lifted to you,

or clenched fists

or the cold sweat that trickles down my back

or the cramps that knot my stomach?

Will you accept my prayers, Lord,

my real prayers,

rooted in the muck and mud and rock of my life,

And not just the pretty, cut-flower, gracefully arranged

bouquet of words?

Will you accept me, Lord,

as I really am,

messed up mixture of glory and grime?

Sometimes it feels like God isn’t listening but He considers every sigh. Not only that, he is interceding for us day and night. Scripture says that God makes prayers out of our wordless sighs and aching groans.

The Holy Spirit helps us in our distress. For we don’t even know what we should pray for, nor how we should pray. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words.

Here is an incredible thought: Long before you woke up this morning, the Holy Spirit was interceding for you. And long after you go to bed tonight, the Holy Spirit will still be interceding for you. That ought to change the way we wake up and fall asleep…

Reading this made me feel normal again, as if someone understood and validated what I am going through. I hope it does the same for you.

Blessings,

Lonnie

Ipray4u Christian Bookstore

Guest Blog
by
Dr. Lonnie Robinson

My life in many ways seems to have been one very long, standardized, fill-in-the-bubble-with-the-correct-answer test. It started in high school and culminated with the ACT. Then in college the same theme continued. To get into medical school I took the MCAT, but “arriving” in medical school didn’t bring an end to the exams. I began taking national boards while in medical school, a process that continued until after I received my degree. In residency I had in-service examinations and even after I started my practice I had to continue to take board certification exams.

Medical school taught me as much about test-taking skills as it did about diseases and treatments. As I cipher which the remaining of the multiple choices is correct or not, I have at times felt like one of those Texas Hold ‘Em poker players who must quickly calculate the odds of their needed card turning up from the deck. Sometimes it was less about knowing the material than knowing that “C” can’t be right, “B” is not an option, and it’s a coin-toss between “A” and “D”.

Testing is not fun for most of us. But the truth is, whether you are a doctor or teacher or plumber, testing is what proves your ability to do what you say you can do.

I also perform tests on my patients every day to prove or disprove disease. Testing can be uncomfortable, and if you have ever had a colonoscopy, pap smear or prostate examination, I know that you know what I am talking about. But if the results of the test are favorable, it can bring a sense of relief. Even a result that is not favorable can bring some relief, as it takes us from the realm of the unknown into the known – something we can now deal with out in the open, even if it is cancer or some other awful disease.

A stress test is often used to diagnose heart disease. When we exercise, the heart requires more blood flow, and the primary way our body increases the blood flow is by opening up the arteries or “dilating” them. When there is a blockage in one of the arteries that feeds the heart muscle, it cannot open up or dilate normally to allow more blood flow to the heart muscle. During the stress test, a significant blockage may manifest with characteristic changes on the EKG as part of the heart muscle is deprived of the oxygen it needs to contract and pump blood. When we see these changes on the EKG we become aware of the possibility of the underlying problem.

When we exercise regularly and stress our heart in that manner, it starts a process that creates side channels in the arteries that increases the blood flow. This process is a “natural bypass” of sorts called collateralization. Regular cardiovascular exercise can prevent heart disease by stressing the heart and creating this natural bypass around areas of blockage.

I feel as though I have been being “tested” in the last several months. It has not been a pleasant experience. At this point I don’t know if I have “passed”, but I trust and believe that I will be better in the end for having undergone this spiritual stress test of sorts.

It has proven some things about my faith: I know that God is good and holy and in control, even when I hurt or when bad things happen to good people or things seem out of control.

The test has also exposed the weaknesses in my spiritual life: I am more worldly than I realized, and He is more holy than I had recognized or remembered; I am, at my core, a very selfish and self-exalting person; I am probably too busy for my own good.

The thing about stress is that it can either break us or makes us stronger. Like collateralization, stress can bring changes that ultimately save us from certain harm. A muscle that is not stressed will atrophy and grow weak, while one that is pushed regularly becomes stronger and more well-defined. Similarly, a faith that has not been tested has not been proven, and will not grow and become stronger, but rather will tend to atrophy from disuse.

I am reading a book by Randy Alcorn titled “If God is Good” and I highly recommend it. In it he retells the story of another author’s experience in a modern-day leper colony in India:

Howard Hendricks tells of visiting a leprosy center in India. The morning he arrived, the residents were gathered for a praise service. One of the women with leprosy hobbled to the platform. Hendricks said that even though she was partially blind and badly disfigured, she was one of the most beautiful women he had ever seen.

Raising both of her nearly fingerless hands toward Heaven, she said in a clear voice, “ I want to praise God that I am a leper because it was thorough my leprosy that I came to know Jesus Christ as my Savior. And I would rather be a leper who knows Christ than be completely whole and a stranger to His grace.”

The surgeon inflicts suffering on the patient and the parent disciplines the child, but they do good, not evil. Likewise, God can permit and even bring suffering upon his children without being morally evil. God hates moral evil and is committed to utterly destroying it. Yet for now he allows evil and suffering, and can providentially use them for his own good purposes.

Wow…I think I had better go study for my test…I have a lot to learn.

LR